http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htiii2nz0Ms
This sunday the raiders play the browns and i really think the raiders are just going to kill them and so far with the raiders start this year they are probably going to have one of their best seasons in along time. With Mcfadden running the ball and getting better and better each year he is bound to become one of the best running backs in the league. The Raidders are my favorite team in football and it wouldnt make me happier then to see them go to the playoffs for the first time in a while and get a chance to get another ring. The past years the Raiders have been losing it but this year its time for them to get it back and i wouldnt pick a better year for the raiders to do really good. If the raiders keep playing like they have been the last couple games they should have a good year in terms of their season and i have alt of faith in them to win this upcoming game against the browns.
When the raiders beat the jets i was juiced because i didnt think the raiders were going to be able to pull it off against one of the best teams in the NFL but they did and the played a really good game and ended out with a victory. From the browns on the raiders have a good schedule and they can win alot of those games but all they half to do is keep playing like their playing and they should have a great record this year in terms of standings and hopefully they can get into the payoffs and have a big chance at getting another ring.
The main thing you need to work on in your writing, in post after post, is your sentence structures. You have lots and lots of run-on sentences and you need to get in the habit of breaking your sentences down into much shorter chunks. Here's an example:
ReplyDelete"This sunday the raiders play the browns and i really think the raiders are just going to kill them and so far with the raiders start this year they are probably going to have one of their best seasons in along time."
Should be:
This sunday the raiders play the browns. I really think the raiders are just going to kill them. So far with the raiders start this year they are probably going to have one of their best seasons in along time.
If you read your writing out loud to yourself (or have someone read it to you) then you'll probably be able to HEAR where the breaks should come. This is a really important skill to work on in your writing.